What can a victim of domestic violence do?
- Look for professional help (Social Welfare Center, Counseling Center for Victims of Violence …)
- Report a violence to the police
- Ask your family and friends for support
- Ask religious representatives to intervene
- Make your departure plans: find accommodation, make money, look for employment, pack your basic stuff
- You’re moving for a while
- Go to the shelter
- Seek divorce
What can friends and relatives do?
- Listen and let victim talk about her / his feelings.
- Do not judge or counsel. Talk to her / him about her / his options.
- Physical security is in the first place. If you believe it is in danger, say it to the victim. Help the victim plan the exit in that situation.
- Respect her / his right to confidentiality.
- Show that you care and want to help.
- Allow the victim to say how she / he feels and support her / his decisions. Allow the victim to talk about the good aspects of the relationship. Do not try to diminish iher / his feelings towards her / his partner. Do not criticize the victim because she / he lives with him / her but explain how the abuse without intervention escalates over time.
- Give clear messages including:
- Violence is never acceptable or justified.
- The security of the victim and the safety of her / his children are always the most important thing.
- An attack on a husband / wife is a criminal offense.
- The victim is not the one causing violence.
- The victim can not blame the partner / partner’s behavior.
- The victim can not change the partner / partner’s behavior.
- Excuses and promises will not end violence.
- The victim is not crazy / crazy.
- Violence is not a loss of control, but a means of control.
- Discuss how violence affects children.
- Encourage her / him in the sense that every time she / he asks for help, she / he gets the emotional power needed to make effective decisions. She / he may be intimidated and blocked or confused so she / he can’t take immediate actions.
- Although the police may ask you to take the victim home to pick up your personal belongings, explain the victim to be ready for the chance to leave her / his home. She / he must prepare the necessary documents and photocopies as well as important things eg:
- credit cards, bank booklets
- health certificates
- passport, birth certificates
- keys of the apartment
- meds
- children’s favorite toys, clothes etc.
- A victim of domestic violence regardless of gender and age needs our support and encouragement to be able to choose what is best for her. / him However, there are some types of advice that are not useful, but can be dangerous:
- Do not tell the victim what to do when, when can she / he escape or not escape.
- Do not tell the victim to return home while that kind of situation continues and make a little more effort.
- Do not rescue the victim by trying to find a quick solution.
- Do not advise the victim to try to talk to her / his partner and thus stir the situation.
- Do not bring yourself into the dangers of confronting aggressive partner.
- Do not tell the victim that she / he should stay at home for the children.
- Never recommend marriage counseling in situations of emotional or physical abuse. This is dangerous for the victim and will not lead to a solution that would be in its interest, at least not immediately after the incident, without the prior separate treatment of victims and perpetrators of domestic violence.
- Encourage separate counseling for men and women.
What can a community do?
- Intervene if you are a witness of behaviors that you believe to be violent
- To inform yourself and others about domestic violence, arrange a conversation at your school, social welfare center or local self-government
- Take up for better and better services for victims of domestic violence in the police and government
- Listen and believe the victim you are entrusted with; Ask the victim how you can help and what it takes to feel safer (she or he)
- Support the right of all victims of domestic violence to live in security